(Saint Peter’s Cemetery, 10:00 am)

Akila: Are you sure you want to do this?

Yinka: Yes, I am.

Akila: What about Ashley? Can you please try not to kill her during the ceremony?

Yinka: I promise, I won’t leave any witness alive. Hahaha.

Akila: Yinka, you are so strong. Right from fashion school, you pushed until you broke through.

Yinka: It hasn’t been easy girl. I grew up in messed up family. I guess that made me tough. Seeing my mum high and my dad passed out on the chair, 7 days a week for years, made me realize that I didn’t want that kind of life for myself. Though being an escort wasn’t the smartest career move, I needed money and that’s when I met Taiwo. He was a rookie, and his coach called the agency in order to get him a companion for a Playboy party. At the end of the day, he canceled, but I still went. I was in the fashion industry then, but still had some outstanding debts as a result of my investments.

Akila: He is in a better place now hun.

Yinka: I know.

As Yinka and Akila were driving to the cemetery, a flash back of memories were going through Yinka’s mind. Little did she know, that the nightmare was just starting. Yinka and Akila finally found a spot to park. They were both wearing black Vera Wang dresses. There were lots of people gathered around the coffin. It was a hard moment for Yinka,  but she took heart and stepped forward to say a few words.

Yinka: Taiwo was an amazing man, a great grandchild and a good player. He was there when you needed him, he was polite, always caring and always straight-forward. He will indeed be missed.

Ashley: Sweet words you have spoken…

Yinka: Thank you.

Ashley: Yinka, I am truly sorry. You know… It is not easy to be somebody’s fiance,  knowing that the person is with you only because his true love is not willing to compromise. Yinka, hatred is not something that comes in a day. First, you were messing with my dad and then, you took Taiwo away from me.

Yinka: Communication with your dad was my job, Ashley. I never had sex with him, I was only a companion.

Ashley: Your job took my mum’s life. But anyway, let’s not get into that for now. Taiwo left you 18 million dollars. I will not take you to court if you willingly give half of that money to me.

Yinka: I thought you were sorry for being a bitch.

Ashley. I was only sorry cause I lost my cool. I still look at you as an insect that I want to step on, and I will, if you don’t give me my share. You have 3 days Yinka. The testament is going to be read later today. You either give me 9 million dollars, or you kiss all the money goodbye, and leave your son without a penny.

While Yinka and Ashley were discussing, a tall woman excuses herself to give her condolences to Yinka.

Shila: I am sorry about your brother’s death.

Yinka: My brother? I am sorry, I don’t know what you are talking about. Taiwo was the father of my baby. I got pregnant before he died.

Shila: Wasn’t your dad James jackson?

Yinka: Yes, he was my dad.

Shila: I am Shila Jackson, your stepsister. Taiwo was my stepbrother.

Ashley: Wow Yinka, you are pregnant for your brother. Hahaha…

Yinka: Ashley, you are a sick bitch. Taiwo is not my brother! There is a confusion here, and I need to figure it out.

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS! Watch out for TABOO – Part 9

There is a saying, “Mothers know best”. But in my case, I don’t think it is true. My mother wants me to get married to Adeolu, but I know fully well that he is not the right man for me. She feels he is going to take care of me because he is rich. I am not even married to Adeolu yet, and he has beaten me twice. I informed mother after both events and she said, “no big deal, all relationships are not perfect”.

Adeolu just informed mother he wants to marry me, and mother is planning the wedding already without my opinion.  I am considering either running away the day before the wedding or falling sick on that day.

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

I have always considered myself to be a strong and decisive woman, but my recent ordeal with my mother in-law has gotten me in a dilemma.

 My husband and I have been married for nine years now, unable to conceive. There has been pressure from his family, especially my mother in-law. We have been to the doctors and they have confirmed I have no medical issue. Also, I was pregnant twice when I was in the university and had abortions.

Recently, mother in-law called me and asked me to come over to her house without my husband’s knowledge. When I got there, she advised me to have sex with my husband’s younger brother, so I could get pregnant. She insisted I don’t tell my husband about this discussion and he would assume the baby is his.  I was shocked and asked if her son had a medical problem he wasn’t telling me, but she wouldn’t respond. I declined.

After the discussion between us, she started frustrating me. She is threatening to bring another woman to my home. I feel so helpless I don’t know what to do or should I dance to her tune?

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

(St John’s hospital, Dallas Texas)

Shila: Ok doctors, what do we have here?
Shawn: Doc, here is 2 years old Tamika. She has fever and a chicken pox outbreak. Tamika hasn’t been eating well for the past 3 days.
Shila: Doctors, what is the treatment for such disease?
Doctor 2: Rest, lots of liquids and perhaps, Lubriderm to help with the itching.
Shila: Anybody else?
Doctor 3: Errrr, not really Doc.
Shila: Good stuff. Well interns, you deal with that while I get ready to go home. Kiddos,  please take care of my patients. I am leaving everybody alive and I don’t want surprises when I come back.

Shila left the emergency room feeling awkward. This was the first time in 10 years, that she had an actual holiday, but she needed it. Sorting her life out was something she had to do. After all, she has been pleasing others all her life. It was time to live a little.

(Incoming call)

Tosin: Hey Shila, this is Tosin. What are you up to besides the obvious?

Shila: And what is the obvious?

Tosin: Cutting children into 2, and then fixing their organs.

Shila: Eww, I am pediatric surgeon, and what you said sounds gross.

Tosin: May I ask you out for lunch? Nothing formal, I am aware that you have been emotionally unavailable, ever since you started medical school.

Shila: Tosin, the last time I had an informal lunch was when I was on my way to the surgery room and it was an egg sandwich. But ok, it’s all about living a little.

Tosin: Cool, I am outside.

Shila: You are…

Tosin: Awesome, I know.

(Shila gets into the car)

Tosin: Shila, I know it’s been a while but I just had to see. How are you dealing with your step brother’s death?

Shila: We were never close, plus my dad never told us about him or his other kids till before he died.

Tosin: You mean you have more siblings?

Shila: Yep, the last born is an escort in New York. Gosh, her mum was careless with her.

Tosin: Wow, how come she didn’t live with Taiwo?

Shila: Taiwo’s mum died when he was just 2. So, dad left him with his grandma. The other girl’s mum was a drug addict and dad left her. Funny enough, daddy had been an alcoholic for 23 years, but he didn’t feel right to be with her. Five years after that girl was born, daddy passed away.

Tosin: Are you going to Taiwo’s funeral?

Shila: I will, my flight is leaving tomorrow morning. I need to look for my sister.

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS! Watch out for TABOO – Part 8

My best friend was dating a guy called Wale for 5 years. I was friends with him and when they broke up, they both spoke to me about it and I tried to resolve it. I spoke to my girlfriend about him and how amazing I thought he was but she said she was done. After their break up, I was still friends with him and I didn’t hide that from my best friend.

Its been 2 years since then and my best friend is in a serious relationship. I have been on dates with a few guys but I haven’t met anyone good enough. Anyway, Wale and I have been talking since then and lately we started spending time together. We have feelings for each other and he finally asked me to be his girlfriend. I called my best friend and told her about my feelings for Wale. Then, I asked if she was ok with me dating him. She was furious and said that would be betrayal.

She is in a serious relationship and she still thinks it is in appropriate for me to be with Wale. What do you guys think?

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

It is my fourth year in the university. I am a biological engineering student and about to graduate. Since the beginning of the year, one of my professors have been making sexual advances to me but I have been ignoring me. I wrote my final project and I am pretty sure I will be graduating with a first-class degree. My parents and everyone have started planning my graduation and we even sent out invitations.

I just found out that, that professor gave me an “F”. I was so shocked and I went to speak with him. He said he was not speaking about it and my result is final. He won’t give me my paper back and had messed with some of my project findings. I am at a dilemma. My only choice is to either sleep with him, graduate with peace and save my family the embarrassment or escalate it.

I spoke with a close friend and she said no student in the school has been able to dispute such. Also, since he had tampered with my exam, the school board will have a hard time making a conclusion on such an appeal. I have no evidence of the prior work I did before it was tampered with. Can I please get your opinions on this issue?

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

I have been married to my wife for 8 years and we have been looking to God for the fruit of the womb. My mom has been very worried about this issue. Over the years, she has tried convincing me to marry another woman and even adopt but I ignored her.

I love my wife very much and we have been to various fertility clinics and churches for prayers.  I decided to surprise my wife this weekend by cooking a romantic dinner and cleaning out the whole house.

We left the house together headed out for work. I already took the day off and headed back home after I confirmed she was at work. I started to clean out the house and found in her closet a bunch of contraception. My wife has been deceiving me for 8 years.

I can’t believe she can do this to me. Should I divorce her?

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

Paul and I got married a year ago. Everything was going smoothly till his younger brother, Kenneth started trouble.

I once dated Kenneth at the University, years back. My husband does not know about this though. It’s been a secret between Kenneth and I.

Recently though, Kenneth decided to start blackmailing me. He’s demanding occasional sex or he’ll tell my husband all that happened between us.

I’m so worried now. I don’t want to destroy my young marriage. Pressure from Kenneth is getting too much. I need some advice, please!

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

My mum has been the sole provider for my brother and I since we were young. We lost our dad when we were very little. When I was 15 years old, I had a kidney failure issue and my only brother donated one of his kidneys to me. He was 11 years at the time. We have been very close since then and I always feel like I owe my brother my life.

I got married 2 years ago and my husband has always been the reclusive type. He doesn’t like either his family or mine staying with us. Well, my brother had some financial problems recently. He wants to stay with us for some weeks. I spoke to my husband in private about it and he disagreed.

I feel bad telling my brother he can’t stay in my home because I know my brother would give me the world if I was in that situation. I don’t want to disrespect my husband either. I tried begging my husband but he is putting the marriage on the line if I disobeyed him.

I am thinking my brother is more important than my marriage. I really do love my husband though.

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!

This really sounds crazy and I might look like a bad mother but I am not. I married the father of my daughter when I was 23 years old. We were madly in love and bringing Rebecca into this world made everything perfect. Everything changed 6 years ago when I lost my husband in a ghastly motor accident. I have been caring for my daughter alone since then. There were no family members to help me out.

I finally met Chidi in 2015. He is a great man and very supportive. I am very protective of my daughter although she is now 19. I didn’t introduce Chidi to my daughter until we got engaged. I wanted to make sure I was very sure of the relationship before he meets my daughter. Everything has been going great and we had our wedding last year.

A friend of my daughter at school called me in confidence and told me my daughter and Chidi are having an affair. She went as far as telling me my daughter is in love with Chidi.

Immediately, I started studying them and noticed it might be true. I could kill Chidi. I want to confront them. How do I go about it?

SHIIIT HAPPENS GUYS!